


stuck on how it feels here next to you

by kuresoto



Series: Because This Is My First Life AU [1]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Ben is v e r y soft, Cohabitation, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Fake Marriage, Fluff, Happy Ending, Knitting and kittens, Marriage of Convenience, OR IS IT
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 21:54:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,134
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22633036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kuresoto/pseuds/kuresoto
Summary: Around four months ago, Ben and Rey married out of convenience. It had started that way and one of the key reasons why they had agreed to this in the first place was the condition that neither had romantic feelings for the other.This is their life, both head of heels for the other while not really knowing what to do about it.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: Because This Is My First Life AU [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1642219
Comments: 30
Kudos: 189
Collections: For one is both and both are one in love: The Reylo Fanfiction Anthology's Valentine's Day Exchange





	stuck on how it feels here next to you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [crossingwinter](https://archiveofourown.org/users/crossingwinter/gifts).



> PROMPT: "Modern AU - Domestic Fluff Where Nothing Hurts: Ben and Rey adopt a cat and it destroys all of Rey's yarn, but they can't bring themselves to get rid of it so they have to figure out how to hide the yarn from the very creative kitty who is hell bent on destroying it" PLUS "I'm a sucker for marriage tropes pick one and go nuts"
> 
> (*of course* I'm gonna pick the domestic fluff option from all your prompts. The others hurt too much ;-;)
> 
> I went in thinking about yarn and kittens and was watching a show that I decided to rip off, thus THIS WAS BORN. (I can't even tell you what the show is bc you might guess who I am from it o.O) Hope you enjoy this!! >.<
> 
> Thank you to punkeraa for looking over this for me!! <3

The moment the clock on the bottom corner of his screen reads 5:25PM, Ben Solo turns off his computer and begins packing up so that he’s out the door by 5:28PM. Give or take a minute or so, it takes him ten minutes to walk to the bus stop. 

He catches the 5:42PM bus bound for Hanna City. He’s done so every day for the past few months, not including the occasional days where he has to stay back at work because some fuckwit decided to release an update before it was ready, which happens more often than Ben likes. 

Everyone at the office knows better than to delay him from leaving. They all know why, despite how tight-lipped Ben is about his private life. To be fair, if he didn’t want his workmates gossiping about him behind his back, then he shouldn’t have invited them to his wedding, but at the time, it seemed like the most logical thing to do. Both Rey and himself wanted it to be believable.

Around four months ago, Ben and Rey married out of convenience. It had started that way and one of the key reasons why they had agreed to this in the first place was the condition that neither had romantic feelings for the other. 

Sitting in his usual spot by the window on the bus, Ben snorts at how awry their plans had gone. 

Ben never planned to settle down. It simply didn’t appeal to him. People were annoying and illogical, and meeting Rey was no different.

But she had resonated with him, probably because of how they first met. 

A ghost of a smile appears on Ben’s face as the bus stops at a set of traffic lights. He glances at his phone, seeing that he has no new messages, and places it face down once more. 

In two stops time, the bus will arrive at the place he had first met Rey— _properly_ met her. It’s the same stop that is by her new workplace and should be where she gets on.

Hearing the happy _ding_ of someone pushing the ‘next stop’ button on the bus, Ben tries not to look too disappointed when the bus pulls up to an empty bus stop. He tries not to frown and tries not to pull his phone out too quickly, checking his phone compulsively in case he’s missed a message from Rey.

He hasn’t. Rey’s last message still reads that she’d finish work on time and will catch their usual bus home. 

The bus pulls away and Ben looks at the empty seat next to him. 

She probably had a last minute change of plans, Ben rationalises. She’s gone to meet her friend Rose for dinner in the past without letting him know, which is fine. Sure, it’s nice to be able to walk home together and share a meal with the one person in the whole world he has feelings for—he can finally admit that after much denial—but it’s not like she’s bound to him. If anything, the marriage was to ensure _both_ of their freedoms. 

It’s just hard, feeling these emotions that he doesn’t know what to do with. He’s working on them in therapy. The idea of being driven by emotions is such an uncomfortable concept to him, especially after all the damage he had done by letting loose in his younger years. 

Ben sits up straighter, clutching his phone in his Sasquatch hands, as Rey is so fond of calling them, and watches the bus pull away from the empty bus stop. 

He’ll get home in time to feed Kitty so at least there’s that. 

_“You call your cat...Kitty?” Rey asked with wide eyes, not quite sure she was believing what she was hearing._

_“Yes, is that a problem?”_

_“No,” she answered quickly, squatting low to run her hands through Kitty’s soft fur. “It’s very you.”_

Ben still doesn’t fully understand what Rey had meant by that. What is more affectionate than Kitty? He knows other people name their pets after human names but humans are assholes and cats don’t deserve to be named after such people. 

He voices this later when he scoops the dry cat food out for his white birman, gently scratching behind Kitty’s ears. 

Before Ben met Rey, Kitty was the most important being in his life. He had found Kitty abandoned amongst a pile of garbage one night, after he had fallen into the same pile with his life, more or less, fucked five ways to hell. He had just finished sabotaging his career with the company that had recruited him right out of college, the same company that had built his skill set and molded him into the sought after prolific systems designer that he is today. The Final Order had manipulated him into cutting all ties from his family, poisoning his mind with the idea that his family wanted to control his life and steal his projects.

In retrospect, Ben can see that it was all a lie and that the person who headhunted him, Mr. Snoke Sidious, was the one pulling the strings, making him believe that the systems he developed would actually be put to good use, rather than some capitalistic scheme that only benefited the wealthy. 

The night Ben had found Kitty was the lowest point in his life. He had just finished wiping The Final Order’s system files, effectively destroying any and all progress to the existing and complete projects he had worked on, which was basically every product the company had to offer. It wasn’t rocket science to figure out who had done it, so Ben was resigned to the massive lawsuit that would follow, but it felt so, _so_ good to electronically and physically fuck up that company. The sledgehammer he had driven into all the computers in his office was testament to that. 

Not that it mattered. 

There was no way he could come back from this, but a weak meow from a small, fragile kitten had snapped him from his self destructive stupor. Besides him, there was no one around, yet the kitten continued to meow and paw at the garbage bag in hopes it would yield some leftover food. How long had the kitten been here, trying to survive with nothing but sheer willpower?

Kitty had looked at Ben with her large, blue eyes and instantly, Ben stopped his pity party. 

Lying in the pile of garbage in the small hours of the morning, Ben had completely given up, but the dirty kitten next to him kept fighting to live. Kitty had put Ben to shame. 

There are two things in Ben’s life that he can confidently say changed him for the better. Kitty was one, and Rey was the other. 

“I wonder where she is,” Ben muses out loud. Kitty pauses with her head still lowered towards her bowl and looks at him in question. “Do you miss her too?” Ben asks, his voice a touch too hopeful he wasn’t projecting onto his cat. 

Kitty blinks and turns back to her food. 

Ben sighs. He’s still squatting on the floor, froggy style so that his legs fold over in the most comical way, when he hears the familiar sound of keys unlocking the front door. 

He wants to rush over to the door, but he’s still unsure about their relationship, despite being ‘married’, so he rushes to the kitchen and pretends to look though the fridge when the door finally swings open. Ben already has a bottle of water in his hand, head tipped back and ready to take a swig, when Rey hurriedly kicks off her shoes and scurries to the bathroom, cradling her bundled sweater in her arms. 

Ditching any pretence of looking aloof, Ben follows her closely until he’s stands in the doorway, watching Rey gently unravel the knitted garment to reveal a small black ball of fur.

That meows. 

Ben looks at Rey sharply, who looks like she’s a hair's breadth away from becoming a blubbering mess. 

“I-I didn’t know what to do,” Rey’s able to manage past her trembling lips. “I couldn’t leave it there!”

Ben completely understands and checks the time. It’s late but Kitty’s vet should be able to accommodate their sudden visit. He steps into the bathroom and scoops the kitten, holding it close to him. It’s so small in the palm of his hand. He gently rubs his knuckle against its crown, which makes the kitten meow weakly at him. 

“Come on, Dr. Kalonia should be able to help.” With his free hand, Ben takes Rey’s hand in his and pulls her towards the foyer. Since he hadn’t been home long, his wallet and keys were still in his pockets. “It’s going to take too long if we catch the bus,” Ben says, only to be met with Rey already on the phone with a taxi company. She shoots him a look, as if to say ‘duh’.

If Dr. Kalonia is surprised to see Ben and Rey Solo burst into her clinic, she doesn’t show it for long before years of experience kicks into the gear when she spots the small kitten in Ben’s massive hands. She whisks it away, leaving the couple to worriedly sit in the waiting room. 

There’s a long stretch of silence before Ben breaks it. 

“It’ll be okay. Dr. Kalonia is the best. She helped Kitty when I found her in a similar state.” 

Rey is still gnawing at her bottom lip so Ben throws caution to the wind and wraps his arm around her shoulders and pulls her close. She releases her lip and melts into his embrace. 

“I’m sorry I couldn’t catch our usual bus,” Rey whispers just as Ben thinks she’s fallen asleep. 

“There’s nothing to apologise for,” Ben says, pressing his lips into her hair. 

“But still,” Rey mumbles. She doesn’t continue and Ben is grateful for that. 

Dr. Kalonia comes back to tell them that the kitten will have to stay for a few days for monitoring before it can be released back into their care.

“Congratulations,” says the doctor. “You’ll have another addition to the family soon. I’ll let you know how he’s doing, but I think he’ll be healthy enough by Thursday. Hope you’ll have a name ready.” She pointedly looks over her glasses at them, more specifically, Ben. 

“Thank you,” Ben says sincerely, and he means it. While he’d been comforting Rey, his mind kept going back to the stressful days when he wandered through those clinic doors seven years ago, too preoccupied with whether Kitty would live to care about his career suicide. Taking in Kitty forced Ben to continue being a functional adult, which meant he couldn’t run away from the mess he had made at The Final Order. It reconnected him with his family and even though it was a challenge to muster the courage to ask them for help, it was for the best. 

It was a good omen adopting Kitty, so Ben wonders what this one will bring.

~*~*~*~

They visit the clinic every day, once before work and once after work, usually together like a pair of doting parents. They plan to collect their new feline together but when Thursday finally comes around, Ben is held up at work and by the sounds of it, he’s not having a good time.

Ben _never_ uses emojis but the recent text he’s sent Rey is riddled with a variety of angry faces, with the occasional knife and bursting vein. It’s utterly endearing and Rey knows she shouldn’t be laughing at his misfortune but she can literally picture his entire 6’2’’ self towering over some poor cowering soul. 

Hopefully he won’t be home too late. 

Rey still doesn’t know how their new cat will interact with Kitty. Kitty is very laid back, content with spending the day lounging around and looking cute, so Rey wonders how she’ll fare with the energy of a kitten. 

She looks down at the transport cage Dr. Kalonia had loaned to her and pets it. She can’t see inside from above or feel any movement within but she knows the black kitten is probably asleep, still tired after everything. “You’ll be home soon,” Rey says, getting into her ordered taxi.

Kitty is lazing around in the foyer when Rey returns home, perking up immediately at the sight and scent of a new cat. She pads over to Rey and sniffs the cage.

“Kitty, this is your new brother. His name is…” Their new cat has no name yet. Ben and Rey had spoken about it over the last few days but nothing solid was decided on. “We’ll figure it out when Ben comes home.”

It takes a while for the new kitten to leave his cage, one cautious paw after another with Kitty remaining a suitable distance from him, but the moment he enters the large living room, he becomes inquisitive with Kitty following not far behind. Rey was ready for Kitty to be aggressive with their new kitten, even though it’s not in her nature, but it doesn’t seem to be an issue. It’s certainly a relief since Rey wasn’t sure what she’d do if Ben came home to his pets literally at each other's throats.

But it’s still better safe than sorry. 

Rey supervises the new kitten’s playtime before separating him from Kitty and taking him to her room so she could take a quick shower. She lays the kitten on her bed, making sure he’s comfortable, before retreating to the bathroom.

Ben and Rey are married but it was purely for convenience at the time. Ben needed a roommate and Rey, with her minimal savings, needed a place to stay that didn’t require a deposit. Marriage hadn’t been a factor until Ben’s mum found out about their living arrangements. 

They still sleep in separate rooms. They’ve only kissed— _real kissed_ as a couple—once. Their relationship is going at a snail pace—Rey is _fully_ aware of this—but considering the circumstances, it’s completely understandable. They are still strangers, cohabitating the same living space, except with a simple band around their fingers and a piece of paper that says they are more than that. 

Rose, who has no knowledge about the fake marriage contract that is tucked away from sight, has told Rey before that the sight of her with Ben makes her want to throw up. Apparently, they make love eyes to each other. 

She understands why Rose would think that in regards to Rey; the way Ben had proposed to her makes her heart race even now. Having someone confess to her that they actually liked her company and wanted to be with her when she had nothing to offer—wanting Rey for who she was—was such a foreign concept that it took her _forever_ to realise her own feelings, especially after life had beaten down constantly. 

But the idea of tall, dark, quiet and broody Ben making love eyes to anyone is wild. 

His workmates had told her at their wedding that she must’ve been an angel in disguise to put up with the dark haired man, which was rude and inconsiderate since it was _their wedding_ , but one of them had pointed out that they’d never seen Ben this way. At the time, Rey had chalked it up to getting married, but maybe it was more than that.

After a quick shower, Rey towel dries her hair and eyes the basin where she had cradled their new kitten days before. The sweater she had used was a gift from Ben, hand knitted for their hundred day anniversary, made from the softest wool she ever had the fortune of feeling. 

This is the Ben she knows. Tall, gentle and understanding. He didn’t need to make a big deal about their anniversary—it wasn’t something Rey had planned for and was perfectly content with just having a meal together—but pulling out the deep forest green sweater from his room as they were about to go their separate ways for the night had made Rey realise the kind of man she had married. 

She had hugged the sweater to sleep that night, perfectly aware how head over heels she was for her husband. 

Rey wants to return the favor and knit a scarf for him. It was coming along slowly, which reminding herself, she has to work on a few more rows tonight. 

When Rey finishes drying her hair and leaves the bathroom, Ben is home already. The black kitten is in his lap with Kitty to the right of him on the couch. It’s truly a sight to behold, the kitten even smaller on Ben’s left thigh. Rey looks to her room to see her door open. 

“I wanted to see New Kitty,” Ben blurts out, embarrassed that he couldn’t wait a few minutes for Rey to finish her shower. 

Rey doesn’t care that Ben went into her room. She’s too preoccupied at what he had called their new cat. “We’re not calling him New Kitty.”

Ben looks at her with genuine confusion. “Why? He’s a kitty and he’s new.”

“Ben. No.”

“Ah, I understand now. You found him so you should be the one to name him.” 

There’s no point correcting Ben, so Rey takes the opportunity to name the cat something that isn’t just _kitty_. 

Rey stares at the black ball of fluff that blends into Ben’s black slacks perfectly. A smile slowly creeps on her face with a cheeky glint appearing in her eyes. 

“Kylo,” she says, watching Ben go pale as she had expected.

“Kylo,” he repeats. “Are you sure?”

“Of course. Look at him, he looks like a Kylo. Don’t you agree?” 

With an unreadable expression on his face, Ben studies the cat in his lap as if he would unlock the secrets of the universe. 

Rey squats before him and rests her arms on Ben’s knees, gently petting the purring cat. “I found him on the side of the road, almost about to fall into the sewers. He was trying so hard not to be swept away. I heard that a lot of people abandon black cats purely because of their color, but black cats are just like other cats, if not more affectionate and loyal. They just need a chance to be loved and cared for.” Rey looks up and watches Ben from beneath her lashes. “There’s a bit of Kylo in all of us.”

She means it in an affectionate way, as if to say that Ben is similar to the kitten, but with Ben stoically looking down at her and her hands on his thighs and dangerously close to his groin, she fears the deeper meaning is lost. Instead, she holds his stare, forcing herself to be cool as a cucumber. 

“Come on, Kylo, you can sleep in my room tonight,” Rey decides, purposely dragging the back of her fingers across Ben’s thighs as she picked up the small kitten. 

She doesn’t look back, closing her door with a soft click. She places Kylo on her bed before preparing the small cat bed she had bought earlier. 

Rey sleeps in a single bed with a simplistic bed frame that makes her mattress very close to the floor. If she places Kylo’s bed next to hers, it’s close enough for her to hear any distressed cries at night, and close enough for Kylo to climb onto her bed if he wishes. 

Kylo watches her as she fetches the calico bag from her closet and unwinds the half knitted scarf from her knitting needles. Rey can only guess the wool Ben had used on her sweater was a fancy blend of merino and cashmere, for all the stores she had visited and all the yarn she had fingered, none of them came close to how exquisite her sweater felt. She knew the scarf she was knitting wasn’t going to be anywhere near as impressive or as soft as what Ben made but she hopes he will appreciate it, as a thank you for all he’s done for her. 

Kylo is curious, not moving from his position in the bed next to her, watching how she loops the yarn around her needles. He lets out a meow, which makes Rey smile. 

“Shh, keep this a secret, okay?” Rey whispers with a wink. She figures if she can keep this up then the scarf should be done in a week or so. 

~*~*~*~

However, Rey is horrified when she comes home the next day to yarn strewed all over the floor, and she knows it's from her room. Not only does Ben keep his door shut while Rey has a habit of leaving hers ajar, but it’s the exact shade of midnight blue that is meant to be hidden in her closet. 

And right in the middle of it all is Kylo, rolling around amongst a pile of unwound yarn. The individual strands of yarn are no longer intact, the fibres thinned out by the kitten’s claws. 

Rey knows what yarn is to kittens. It’s hours on hours of entertainment but the dangers that come with it aren’t worth it. She detangles Kylo from his mess and kicks it far away. There’s no way to tell if Kylo ate any, and the same can be said for Kitty. 

Kitty is lounging on the sofa the furthest from Kylo’s mess. It’s almost as if she’s looking at the new feline with disgust, sitting herself as far from the mess as possible. She has absolutely no interest in the yarn, much to Rey’s relief—she wasn’t sure how she was going to fit both cats in Dr. Kalonia’s carrier.

Gathering all evidence of the wool, Rey hastily chucks it in her room and closes the door before getting the transport cage. 

Thank goodness Ben is working late today. She doesn’t need him to know about this, but first priority is to make sure that Kylo hasn’t ingested any wool. 

~*~*~*~

Rey is being very antisocial, Ben observes. 

He had thought that they were going well. He hadn’t stuck his foot in his mouth and Rey had genuinely looked like she wanted to be with him, but that was days before Kylo was found. 

Kylo sleeps in Rey’s room every night, and on the days when they’re not at work, Rey keeps to herself in her room with the black kitten. 

Ben knows Rey’s room is small—it’s his apartment after all—and that with a new kitten, she should be in the lounge with him so they can both entertain Kylo. 

She’s been like this ever since that night where he got held up at work and couldn’t go home until midnight. Could she be angry at him? Nothing immediately comes to mind, but Ben has been told that thinking about others is not his strong suit.

He’s still learning and he wants Rey to understand so, so badly how often she’s on his mind. At work, on the bus...in his bed…

Ben starts coughing, causing Kitty to jump from the couch away from him. No, they may have kissed but nothing has progressed further than that, which is the same as nothing changing. They’re still in a paper-only marriage.

That’s fine for Ben, as pathetic as that sounds. 

He’s okay with this. He can still see Rey and because they live together, they will always run into each other eventually. 

Even if Rey locks herself in her room from the moment she comes home from work, she’s going to come out eventually. She _has_ to. 

It’s just that...she’s always in her room with Kylo, instead of being outside with him.

No, Ben refuses to be jealous of a _cat_. It’s absurd.

But Ben sighs. There’s nothing he can do about it anyways. They don’t go into each other’s rooms and he isn’t about to barge into hers uninvited. 

It had taken Ben _months_ , almost _years_ , to find a perfect roommate such as Rey. He isn’t about to mess that up by emulating the very traits that resulted in his previous tenants termination. 

~*~*~*~

“Please, please, please, please—” Rey mutters repeatedly, pulling the bedsheet off Kylo and stepping back to see what he’ll do. 

The kitten looks around inquisitively before locking eyes with the drawers that contain both Rey’s clothes and balls of yarn. Like he has for many days, Kylo goes to the drawers and is somehow able to open them with his small kitten paws and find the ball of yarn, where Rey snatches it away before any harm is done.

Dr. Kalonia made sure that Kylo hadn’t swallowed any but stressed how important it was that it stays that way. The last thing Rey wanted was for Kylo to be in any pain. 

Rey considered leaving Kylo outside with Ben while she tried to finish the scarf, but she never seems to be able to part with him. When he isn’t actively trying to destroy all her yarn and the little sanity she has left, Kylo looks like he’s genuinely curious about knitting. When the knitting needles are out and Rey is purling as fast as she can, Kylo is content with watching her from his bed, his wide eyes with rapt attention.

But when he catches sight of yarn that isn’t connected to any needles, then it’s a problem. 

Rey’s tried hiding it, but it’s no use when Kylo somehow finds it and gets to it. Every. Goddamn. Time.

Who knew that small kittens who weren’t more than a few months old could be so dexterous. 

Thankfully, the scarf should be done after this session. Rey’s going to push for it, that’s for sure. It’s been too long since she’s spent time with Ben and she knows it’s cruel on her part to keep Kylo to herself.

Imagine, both Ben and Rey relaxing on the couch together with Kitty and Kylo playing on the floor. It’s an actual domestic dream for Rey. 

They haven’t done anything since Ben kissed her with the sun setting behind them. She thinks about it constantly, the way he had taken her face in his hands—she _loves his hands_ —and thoroughly kissed her, the act completely blowing her mind before her mind was blown from how fucking good of a kisser he was. She should’ve expected it though, with his thick, luscious lips and soft eyes. 

The way Rey first met Ben was through a spontaneous kiss, but it was mainly Rey smashing her face into his while Ben stared at her dumbfoundedly. 

But when Ben kissed Rey, _really_ kissed her…

Kylo meowed at her feet, snapping her out of her almost horny stupor. 

Nothing has progressed since then. Rey doesn’t know if they will ever progress beyond roommates-slash-fake-married-couple, and it hurts whenever she thinks about it for too long.

Well, at least she has Kylo now.

Kylo, the kitten who paws at Rey’s feet, will never break her heart.

Rey almost doesn’t finish the scarf. She wants to keep knitting and never cast off, because the moment she does means that she has to give it to Ben and the idea alone makes her want to hurl. She could secret it away and never give it to him, but she had picked the color specifically because she thought he would look handsome in it. He looks handsome in anything, really, but the dark midnight blue she had picked wasn’t going to clash with his _exciting wardrobe_ and is possibly something he could wear on an everyday basis.

The scarf is _really_ long already and is more than able to comfortably wrap around his neck three times, if needed. It’s over two metres and with anyone else, they’d look like they’re drowning in the scarf—or more like that’s how Rose looked when they initially went yarn shopping together and saw a scarf on display—but it’s the perfect length for Ben.

Or so Rey assumes from her many daydreams. 

No, she definitely has to give it to him. 

It would go well with his black shirt and dark blazer he frequently wears. 

Rey sighs at how carried away she’s being. She was never one to delay the inevitable, so she gets up the moment the tails are binded off and pulls her door open.

Kylo, being the supportive kitten he is, is hot on her tail.

Ben looks absolutely miserable when she sees him, but perks up immediately when he sees her. As far as Rey can tell, he’s been sitting on the couch, one hand petting Kitty while watching TV, but she doubts he was actually watching the drivel that is on. He politely gets to his feet when Rey stops in front of him.

“Um, I wanted to thank you. For the sweater. That you knitted me.” God, Rey is a mess. Hyping herself up in her room gave her a big head since standing in front of Ben right now, her head tilting up to meet his eyes, is both intimidating and heart-skipping. 

“It was no big deal,” Ben replies in his smooth, honey-like voice. 

Rey forces herself not to overthink what he means by _no big deal_ —because it’s a very big deal and their marriage is the biggest deal in her life—and thrusts the freshly knit scarf in his unsuspecting hands. 

“It’s not that good and the tension might be a bit off in some areas. I hope you like it, and I just realised if you can knit me a sweater then you must have a bunch of scarves you knitted for yourself already. God, you probably have this color already and—”

~*~*~*~

Ben isn’t hearing anything Rey is saying, he’s too busy staring at the neatly folded scarf. It’s soft to the touch, and he instantly loves it more than anything he’s ever knitted. No one has ever done this for him. 

Knitting was a hobby he had picked up after leaving The Final Order, recommended by his therapist as a way to destress. He’s been knitting for seven years and has gotten so good that he doesn't need to look at his hands anymore, his thick fingers somehow never getting tangled with the yarn. He’s made clothes in the past for his parents, but that was more of a thank you to them for getting him out of trouble with The Final Order more than anything. 

He’s never made a gift like the sweater he did for Rey, and judging by the bumpy areas of her scarf, it looks like she only learned to knit recently. Possibly for him? 

Ben swallows the thick lump in his throat, and tunes back in to what Rey is babbling about. 

“I’m sorry if you don’t like it—”

“I love it.” 

_That_ shuts her up. 

“Really?”

Ben wraps the scarf around his neck two times, the ends falling to his thighs. He’s never owned a long scarf before. He fingers the stitching once more, his heart becoming heavy with emotions. “Can I hug you?” he blurts out, clutching the ends of the scarf tightly in his hands, readying himself for rejection.

“Yes,” Rey replies breathlessly. 

Her hands are hanging dead by her sides when he loops his arms around her. He can tell she’s been working herself up to this moment, too emotionally drained to react to his warm embrace properly, so he holds onto her for as long as she doesn’t push him away.

Eventually, she relaxes against him, her own hands coming up to press her palms against his expansive back.

“Can I kiss you?” 

Rey’s question is muffled but he hears it clear as day. It takes a second for Rey to realise what she’s accidentally said, and when she does, she tries to escape. She pulls away from him but Ben is quicker. He grabs her wrist and keeps her close, using his other hand to unwrap his scarf before wrapping it around the both of them. 

There’s only a small space separating them now, their breath hot on each other’s faces. Rey looks like a deer caught in the headlights, but her eyes are darting all over his face. From his eyes to his nose, to his cheek, before falling and staying on his lips. 

A month ago, Ben had kissed her with every inch of his soul. Now, he’s waiting for her response, because a lot can change in that time and he still doesn’t want Rey to feel like she’s forced to stay with him. 

Ben licks his lips and continues to wait. He wants and wishes her feelings match his intensity, because his life has not been the same since he met Rey that night at the bus stop, all those months ago. 

~*~*~*~

Rey licks her lips and considers backing away for a split second before closing the gap between them. She takes his face in her small hands, the pads of her fingers rubbing circles into his jaw as she kisses him with her whole heart. Her tongue darts in for a taste, then stays there, happily content with being swept away by Ben’s mouth. 

Ben snakes his arm around her waist and hoists her off the floor, spinning on his feet so they fall together on the couch. His body drapes over hers and with the scarf still connecting them, Rey feels every solid muscle that makes up her husband, Ben Solo. 

His knee shifts and Rey’s stomach does a somersault. There’s no time to reconsider, not that she would, not with how one of Ben’s hands cards through her hair or how he breathes in her scent deeply. She presses herself against him, lips meeting his once more as her hands cup and squeeze his ass. _God_ , his ass is nice and tight and it feels _like a fucking delight_. 

They’re still fully clothed with Ben’s eager erection grinding into the apex of Rey’s thighs, when a meow from below breaks them from their heated session. 

Ignoring what his owners are getting up to, Kylo is trying his best to claw the end of the scarf that hangs over the edge of the couch. 

Rey nudges the kitten away from the scarf, amused at how easily the cat slides across the floorboards, and pulls the scarf out of reach. 

“Did Kitty ever try to eat wool? Kylo tries so hard to get into my stash! I had to start taking my yarn with me to work because even when I hide them in my drawers, he gets into it somehow!” Rey says.

“There was a time where Kitty had a habit of destroying my yarn, but thankfully, she grew out of it. Or maybe it’s because of the case I keep the wool in now,” Ben says, and at the mention of her name, Kitty meows proudly. 

Rey sits up abruptly. “Hang on, what case?”

Ben untangles himself from the scarf, leaving Rey looking like she’s drowning in it, and disappears for a moment into his room. He returns with a clear plastic cylinder. There’s a thin gap running down the side that stops halfway down. 

“I keep a lot of my yarn in containers with snap lids and had knitted small toys for Kitty to play with until she grew out of the habit,” Ben explains, handing the object to Rey’s eager hands.

“It’s weird, Kylo doesn’t attack the wool when I’m knitting but the moment I put down my knitting needles, he goes to town on it.”

“You’re a good boy, aren’t you Kylo?” Ben cooes, beckoning the kitten towards him. Kylo bounds towards him and rolls on his back, enthusiastically waiting for belly rubs. “He might play with the container when you’re knitting, but that’s better than getting into the wool itself.”

“Let’s make toys for him together,” Rey suggests. “I’m sure Kitty wouldn’t mind one since it’s been a while.”

Still petting Kylo, Ben smiles. “Yeah, I’d like that. Let me get my stuff and I’ll show you some simple patterns now?”

Rey has never smiled so wide in her life. Her body and heart has cooled down so she doesn’t have the overwhelming urge to climb Ben like a tree, but the thought of knitting together, shoulder to shoulder, has heat creeping up her neck. 

With his own knitting supplies in hand, Ben tucks a leg under himself and sits next to her. She doesn't know how she’s going to knit anything, his body heat alone is distracting enough, but if they happen to get sidetracked by other activities, then so be it. 

They’re married. They have all the time in the world and they’re just getting started. 

**Author's Note:**

> ...yes i really do wanna make this into a series to fill in their background aka how they met and the cirucmstances of their marriage...MIGHT FUCK AROUND AND ACTUALLY PUT SOMETHING UP DURING ANON PERIOD IDK I'm trying but if not, then after reveals will dooooo


End file.
